Monday, 8 December 2014

Sort of like a journal (4) - 8/Dec/2014

For today's post, I declare to you here upfront that I will be writing for an audience; unlike my previous posts when I was  also writing to an audience but trying not to.

I know for a fact that my previous posts weren't seen by many. Actually they were seen by very few. So if you are one of those few, then the previous paragraph are for you, and if you are reading these posts for the first time, then welcome, thank you for reading.

This time I am intentionally speaking to an audience although I will maintain my M.O of rambling and just following my thoughts, but this time I want to ramble about and think of a topic that is close to mu heart and I believe might be to many others out there.

Just to get it out of the way, I call it being an introvert, or rather, the reason behind what I feel is being an introvert but I think it's just about being different.
I'll tel you right now that I'm not going to give a deep analysis about the topic and I probably won't add much to what you already know about yourself and the world around you. I'm just going to share my feelings in hopes that if you are, like I was one day, unaware that there are others out there, you may find comfort in knowing that you were wrong.

I'm not sure where I should start. I'll just start with this: remember that Think Different ad by apple? I think it was in the nineties. Anyway, part of the narration of that ad says "The round pegs in the square holes", and I can't help but feel tired at times by how square the world around me is.

If you feel what I mean, you are probably different. Different than those other people surrounding you. You may not have been so different if you were to exist in another time or belong to another place, but you are here (wherever that is to you) and you are now and no one gets you. You could be the nerd who likes science, or the geek who loves book. You could be the artist with a dark streak who likes to draw crazy scary pictures but is still dead good at it. Or you could be the skinny kid who's bad at sports and likes to write poetry. You could be anyone and anything. As long as you are not COMMON. You don't fit a stereotype, or you simply just to DO what everyone else around you does. That's when you know that you are the round peg and they are all trying to shove you in that square hole.

My point here is that each and everyone of the people who suffer from this, whether reading these words or not, has learned or will learn how to adapt; how to show the world what it needs to see in you while trying not to give up too much on yourself and not forget who you really are along the way. But sometimes it just gets darn hard. And the squareness is too much.

That's something I felt lately and I thought I should ramble about it here. I will not form this as advice or deep thoughts. I just wanted to say it and I have. This is not the first time I have written about this, whether with ink on paper or in other posts on this blog. But it still helps to let it out and dreaming that someone else who is different reads it and realizes they are not that different after all. Or maybe it's just me hoping that when you or anyone else reads and feels, then I can cling on to the hope that I am not that different after all.

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