Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Sort of like a journal (2) - 2/Dec/2014

So much for keeping a journal!
I totally forgot about it yesterday, but here I am now, so I hope this still qualifies as me being consistent.
Now, let's see, what do I feel like writing about. I have many, sometimes too many, thoughts rushing around in my head. I bet everyone says that about themselves: "I have too many thoughts at any given moment. Oh my God, I'm a genius and my head can't hold all this power and it's pouring our of my ears!". Well, you probably guessed it, what I will talk about; I'm pissed off. Of what? Not sure, or rather, I do have some ideas, like being pissed of at everyone who thinks they are geniuses when they are assholes or more appropriately, idiots. In any case... I just noticed that I use this phrase a lot, but screw it, I'll continue to use it. In any case, let's just use today's entry to blow off some steam.

I won't intentionally start listing all the things that irritate me. What I will do is start talking about the first thing that comes to mind and let the anger flow from there.

I am, right now, fighting the urge to lash out at you, the person who is reading this, since in this instant you are a representative of the world outside of myself, and I'm basically pissed off at everything and anyone who is not me. And yes, I stopped hating myself years ago, now I mainly direct my anger outwards. Does this mean I'm an egomaniac? I'm not sure I know what that means or if it's the right word to use, but I'm sure you are smart enough to know what I mean, you're probably even one of those geniuses with all the thoughts coming out of your...ears. Just teasing you! Anyway, I do have my moments of doubting myself or hating myself for something I did, but I learned a while ago that hating myself won't do me any good; learning my lesson and admitting my mistake is much healthier and pragmatic. Hating the world? Still won't do any good, but since I can't get the world to be as pragmatic as I am and admit their mistakes and learn their lessons then I guess the world deserves to be hated.

Ok, let me tell you this, typing rapidly and banging the keys is actually helping a little: just letting you know in case you want to try it.You probably are thinking what a genius you are and how the world is missing out when you refrain from writing and sharing your soul with the world. So by all means , go ahead and bang at the keyboard.

I still feel I want to add more, write more, but the guy who's coming to fit my kitchen with cupboards (yes I moved into a flat with no kitchen cupboards and no sink for that matter) will be knocking at the door any minute, so I have to go and I pray to God he doesn't piss me off too.

Turns out he's actually a pretty nice guy, no pissing off took place during the making of this kitchen...yet.

I really don't know what I should be writing about. Honestly, I do have a few things I want to mention but I don't think should, so overall, I feel restrained and I don't think this is right or conducive to creative flow. So, I think I'll just wrap this one up. I am not happy of what I wrote, at least that's what I feel, I'm not going to reread and check so you can decide on my behalf.

I do feel that if someone has been reading this post they either stopped reading a while ago, which makes this sentences a moot point, or, that someone, YOU, in this case, have reached this far and so you deserve that I thank you and hope that my ramblings might have meant something to you.

To that end. I will be signing off
(cut to black and cue static)

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